Mom Guilt
I’ve heard that some new moms experience “mom guilt” after they have kids. The feeling being that they cannot get accomplished all the things they wish they could do as a mom. They can’t possibly keep the house sparkling clean, cook dinner, watch the kids, and run errands all at once (and of course being perfectly made-up and well-groomed). There are only so many hours in the day. I’ve heard the stories of new moms not even having time to shower or get dressed for the day. That laundry piles up, the house collects dust and you’ve just ordered your third pizza delivery for dinner that week. And while I have Leave It To Beaver visions of being able to do it all as a mom, I’m also realistic enough to know that a baby takes a lot of your time, and something will have to give. I know this, and I’m OK with it.
What I didn’t expect to experience was mom guilt already. And it’s not even related (fully) to the baby. It has to do with Sydney and River. I have dog mom guilt.
The dogs? Really, how are you having mom guilt about the dogs? What can you feel guilty about? They are just dogs.
As anyone who reads this blog knows, I love my two dogs dearly, almost as if I had birthed them myself. Sure, they are the household pets, but I almost view them as my two little toddlers. And you know how active toddlers are. And you can imagine how inactive an 8 month pregnant woman can be.
Thus, the dog mom guilt.
Sydney and River love to walk. They love to run around, be outside, go for car rides and play with other dogs. What has suffered most, especially the past month, are our walks. I physically cannot walk them as long or as fast as I use to (which is a very weird sensation, to want your body to do something but it physically refuses to do what you want it to do). We still go on walks, but they are shorter and slower. During previous summers, I enjoyed getting up pretty early in the morning to walk them about 3 miles before work. I haven’t been able to do that this summer since late June. And since we’re still experiencing summer time temperatures in North Carolina, walking them after work can be a challenge, for both me and the dogs (big pregnant belly for me, fur coats for the dogs). So, our walks have slowed down, and definitely don’t occur as frequently as I would like, which makes me have mom guilt.
The husband and I have a lot to do still to get ready for the baby. For the past couple of months, we’ve taken our birthing classes, visited local pediatricians, run errands to pick up baby items and had doctor’s appointments. All of which take us away from the house more and away from the dogs. This makes me feel guilty too, especially when we are gone at night. Sure, they are dogs and they probably just sleep while we are gone, but I feel bad when I leave them alone at night because normally we do not go out at night (especially during the work week). On one of the nights when we had our birthing class, River was not feeling well. I went to class so the husband could stay at home with River. Knowing perfectly well that River and Sydney were being ably taken care of by my husband, that still could not wash away a little bit of mom guilt for leaving my sick River for a couple hours.
By now you may think I am crazy. And maybe I am. But it’s hard for me to look at those two little faces, knowing they can’t understand what I’m telling them and what’s happening around them. They don’t understand why we’re not going for a walk that day, or why we have to leave them at night sometimes. Sure, they are dogs and I’m sure they’re surviving just fine and they are happy. In my perfect Leave It To Beaver world I’d be able to do it all. But right now, I just can’t. I know I’ll get back there one day. Hec, we’ve got the BOB stroller all ready for jogs on the greenway when the baby is ready. And I’m sure by then I won’t be feeling dog mom guilt…I’ll probably be experiencing real mom guilt in some other way, which will be the subject of many blog posts I’m sure.
